Family as Foundation
Christi HymelShare
The family is the foundation of society and no society can flourish when it denigrates the family. Pat Conroy, the author of Prince of Tides and many other great novels, said “each divorce is the destruction of a small civilization.” Therefore, as Christians, we need to be family-minded and determined to do everything in our power to strengthen our families and the families of those around us. How do that? There are many ways we do this, but I think there are three key things we can do that will really make a difference in helping our families flourish. 1. Value and guard your time together as a family. Society today makes tremendous demands on our time. Husbands work longer and longer days, moms are often working outside the home as well and kids have demanding extracurricular schedules too. If we are not careful, the days can get away from us and suddenly our children are grown and gone and our memories are all that we have left. When my children were growing up we had a rule that they were allowed to chose one sport and one other activity. They all were required to take piano lessons because that was something they could enjoy for the rest of their lives. No matter what sport or activity they participated in, we made sure to set aside at least one day a week that we spent the entire day together and we ate most of our meals at home. I made it a rule that my kids were not allowed to spend the night at other people’s houses. Other children were allowed to sleep at our house, but in general I think sleep-overs never come to much good. We usually spent Saturdays together on our boat. When we were first married, my husband played golf every Saturday. I gently reminded him that one day he would deeply regret spending some much time with his friends when his children needed his attention. He agreed and gave up golf. That’s when we bought a boat. We have the greatest memories of our children being pulled on the tube, learning to water ski and having picnics on the boat. Boat ownership is expensive but the memories made are priceless. 2. Understand and practice God’s design for the family. This is a very difficult thing to embrace in our society today. The idea of the man as head of the family is fiercely under attack. As Christians we need to reaffirm the father’s role in our homes. As Christ is head of the church, the husband is head of his family. There is a most basic premise that people miss…there will always be a leader and a follower. Just as in a beautiful dance, one partner leads and other one follows. When both are trying to lead, it turns into an ugly dance…one we don’t really want to watch. In marriage we need the husband to lead the family and we need the mothers to support his leading and pray for him to have wisdom and discernment. When we do that we demonstrate for our children how family government works, how we are following an earthly father and ultimately how we follow our Heavenly Father who loves and cares for us even more than our earthly father. As wives we need to respect our husbands, build them up and believe in their ability to lead us. This is why choosing a spouse is of supreme importance! 3. Find a church that is faithful to preaching the Gospel and upholding the truths of the Bible and join it. We live in a world hostile to God, His Word and His people. We need to be in Christian community as much as possible. The worship service on Sunday morning is our orientation to the week ahead, it is our time of fellowship, of joining our hearts one to another in Christian love and service. We cannot afford to be Lone Ranger Christians for the world is too much against us. Our children need to see many examples of Christian families, to hear the Word being taught from others beside ourselves, to see baptisms and hear the words of the covenant reaffirmed and to experience the joy of Christian fellowship on a regular basis. These are three ways we can strengthen our families but there are many others we will explore with Other Eden in the days, weeks and months to come. I know we all love our families very much and I know we have lots we can teach one another and help one another with as we explore the special blessings that families are.