I am old-fashioned. I never wanted a high-powered career or a single life focused on my needs and wants or a glamorous life lived in the big city. Not me. From the time I was very young I always wanted one thing: to raise a family in a quiet neighborhood. And I know a lot of women just like myself. The world is constantly telling us that we can have it all: marriage, career, motherhood….but that is a lie from the pit of hell and smell likes smoke.
Men are never challenged to have it all because they are smarter than that. I always understood that once I had children, I would have a full time job. Raising a human being can never be part time, can never be farmed out to individuals who can never love your children like you do, and can never be anything other than full-time. I knew that if I worked (and I did work in the beginning before I knew how much it was to cost me and my baby) I would also be working two full time jobs and I was smart enough to know that I would end up doing neither of them well. I am extremely grateful that the Dragonslayer came around to understanding this point. He didn’t in the beginning because he had only every seen his mother working full time out their home. It is a truth universally acknowledged that men trade their wives to the highest bidder and their children to the lowest…..at least in our modern, self-focused world. Eventually the Dragonslayer came to see that no one would love his children like we would or have their best interest at heart the way we would. So I set about making a beautiful life for my family as a wife and mother. No greater have I ever had than to do this. The Bible speaks often to “who he finds a good wife, finds a good thing” and I wanted to be a good thing. I knew my husband needed all my support at home so he could be oriented to providing for our family. I wanted dinner to be ready when he came home from work because he had traded his time with our quickly growing children so I could be home to love them, nurture them and educate them. I wanted my children to see how an efficient household worked so that they could one day replicate it for their own families. It is very difficult to do what you’ve never seen and almost impossible not to do what you have seen. So, I set out to not only be an example of what is true, good and beautiful, but also to show my family on a consistent, daily basis what that looked liked. I encouraged good habits in them of orderliness, cleanliness, daily Bible reading, praying, and joyfully living in Christian community. I wanted them to have a picture in their mind’s eye as they grew up and moved away from our home that their childhood was worth imitating. This required self-sacrifice, yes. But when one is sacrificing for the ones they love most, it is not a difficult sacrifice. By God’s grace I was given the wisdom to understand that time is fleeting. Watching my mother die when I was only 24 years and just beginning to understand how much I needed her, made me aware of the swiftness of time and they need to be fully present in every moment. I wanted my children to know that I delighted in their very presence. Each night before tucking them in bed and reading them a story, I would hold their little faces between my palms, look into their eyes and say “ Do you know how much I delight in you?” No matter how many times they had disobeyed or gotten into trouble, I was sure to tell them daily that I delighted in them…..for no other reason than they were my children. Just like God delights in us for no other reason than we are His children. Eventually I would ask my children, “how do you know I delight in you”….and they would respond by saying “because you tell me so.” In this space I’ve created, Other Eden, I hope to spend time helping you cultivate beautiful homes where your spouse and children will know how much you delight them. I hope you will join me on this journey.